THE MAESTRO OF UNSCIENTIFICALLY-CONDUCTED SYMPHONIES
...and the thus-symphonic master of the sceptre
The main character of Hugo’s World, since it’s named after him. He’s a very good boy, never getting into trouble, which is in fact a lie, since he’s very much sort of a rascal. He has a rather unfortunate addiction to eating people, and is obsessed with making friends, whom he would really later just eat. He is always sleepy and is in bed often, usually talking on the phone with his best friend the blonde-haired, Fake Swedish Philip, who lives In The Phone. In fact, Hugo nearly always has Philip on a call, toting him around as if he were a real person Hugo were holding by the hand every minute of the day. He loves puppets, especially marionettes, and owns many, which he makes dance on the stage set up in his room. He likes board games and hates video games, thinking them a waste of ‘eyepower’, favouring card games over anything. As such, he is very good at them.
His speech is needlessly courteous since Black Tar would always beat into him the importance of formality, and he always introduces himself the same way to everyone- with an extended hand, “A pleasure. I’m Hugo Tar, but just Hugo, please.”
Similarly to Linus, Hugo has hair a neat shade of clean blonde. His eyes are naturally green but, again like Linus, he dyes them yellow after Black Tar’s obsession with the dye. His skin is light and of the type that burns the instant sun touches it, so he rarely goes outside (unprotected)- he would rather discover the wonders of the world via puppet shows for a combination of entertainment and education. He has the same thin, fast metabolism physique as his little brother, and is only roughly half a head taller at a full 5’ 5". Oftentimes, if not always, he sports as apparel an unnecesarily tight-fitting black or mauve turtleneck with a matching pair of what they call 'slacks', unbelted. He likes mary janes, even though they might be a little bit girly, and thus wears them on every occasion.
Here is provided to you a list of Hugo's likes, then a list of his worldly dislikes.
HUGO LIKES...
Scissors
Sweden
Brad Pitt
Swedes
Toys
Europop and, sometimes, folk
Board games
Pitted and peeled apples (only)
Death, and games like that one where you spin a gun, etc.
HUGO DISLIKES...
Early morning or, really, any time of day
Video games
Impoliteness
Foreigners and tourists
Reptiles
Summer
His older brother
HUGO MISCELLANEOUS
HUGO FUN FACTS
He takes lots of pills. Because he is a little bit crazy, and it is awfully visible, Hugo's older brother, with Charles the Housekeeper & Guardian's agreement, made him take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics because, well, why not, and they don't do anything anway. He takes three pills in the morning and one at night, plus melatonin if he is feeling extra awake.
He hates how people taste even though it was awfully addictive for him, so maybe the addiction is to the texture. Or something, because nobody really knows.
His favourite song is Wachtmuziek by Joost, or maybe RABENVATER by TIEFBASSKOMMANDO.
One day to his doorstep is delivered a yellow box with a note, ‘open with care,’ and nothing more. Hugo, being the type that does the opposite of what is ordered, takes the box up to his room in secret when Black Tar tells him to just ignore it. In his room Hugo opens the box rather roughly, a terrible mistake, and out leap near-thousands of tiny green lizards that saunter to and attach themselves in side-to-side proximity to one another to the walls and ceiling of Hugo’s bedroom. Hugo hates reptiles, so he bolts out of his room and to Linus’, to whom he clings fast, blubbering about reptilian wallpaper, and Linus, in similar fear to Hugo’s, calls Black Tar to do the exterminating. Black Tar, having expected Hugo’s disobedience, clears the room of the lizards with a vacuum, but doesn’t dispose of the box, which sits upon Hugo’s desk rather innocuously. So, thus is the origin of the box that holds all of Hugo’s toys.
